for a thriving community.
Joy Starts Here
Restarting Resources
Belonging Coordinator Resources

Belonging is the joy we create around us. Belonging is the second class in the Thriving Recover Your Life series. Belonging is designed to follow either Forming or Restarting. Belonging blends the Forming and Restarting classes together and creates a particularly helpful blend for Belonging participation. Belonging is training and these 90 days require over 60 exercises during class and for homework. Belonging is where the "weak and strong" come together to create the ultimate environment for transformation to occur!

Join Ed Khouri in the high Sierra for an adventure in appreciation and a closer walk with God. The wonderful beauty of the mountains and creation are blended with Ed’s warmth, encouragement and stories. Ed turns deep and complicated truths into thoughts as clear as the mountain streams. You are going to be amazed!


Belonging is built around training and homework. Careful steps are taken to form training groups that provide encouragement, support and diversity needed to work on belonging skills. Groups are helped by belonging coordinators at each “round table” who receive additional support and training each week to help their group return. Ed Khouri sits by a fire in one of the oldest ranches in the Western Sierra and provides direction for the belonging coordinators under a ceiling full of Wild West bullet holes. We even have a special online course that's FREE for Belonging Coordinators to get trained and touch base with other belonging coordinators throughout their time in Belonging!


Belonging was designed to produce transformation

Belonging was completely redesigned FOUR TIMES until we refined a training method that really worked. If you have tried the previous experimental methods, be prepared for something completely new in Belonging.


All real transformation changes: 1) where we belong and 2) how we create belonging around ourselves. Belonging focuses strategically on how to: 

  1. Improve the ability of existing groups to receive new people.
  2. Help new people enter an existing group.
  3. Allow people with issues and disadvantages to create belonging around themselves.
  4. Heal and reduce the pain of previous rejections in our lives.
  5. Practice belonging skills in a safe environment with fun exercises.
  6. Learn and practice the two belonging skills that are most needed by people with histories of addictions and traumas.
  7. Develop and strengthen a personal style for creating belonging that you will really enjoy.

Belonging quiets cravings for comfort foods or even drugs

What is the relationship between our cravings for food, TV, entertainment, drugs, alcohol, attention and internet pornography? Where do these cravings come from and what works to stop them from taking control? Belonging takes us to the brain science discoveries that explain and resolve our cravings and let us return to a state of peace we call “shalom.” We need these shalom skills and Belonging shows you how they apply to the brain and spiritual process that make our cravings get out of our control.

Belonging builds skills and improves your belonging style

Belonging trains skills that everyone needs and helps people who have these skills already to develop a personal sense of style that greatly enhances their satisfaction and use. The training focuses particularly on the two main skills needed to create belonging around us. Addicted and traumatized people often lack these skills and are therefore hard to incorporate into existing groups. Training these two skills 1) quieting and 2) knowing when to stop, are carefully built into Belonging training. We make sure to train everyone in a way that does not draw attention to people in recovery and further isolate them.  

But that is not all. There is a wide range of training in Belonging. Belonging trains people to:

  1. Build appreciation.
  2. Quiet themselves from anger and fear.
  3. Learn when to stop so they don’t overwhelm others.
  4. Recognize and stop cravings (and who doesn’t get cravings?)
  5. Hear God more clearly.
  6. Validate and comfort themselves.
  7. Use the fast “Shalom my body, soul and heart” steps.
  8. Test themselves for good relational brain circuit functions.
  9. Identify their belonging style.
  10. Express belonging in church and make church a more belonging friendly place. 
  11. Amplify relationships instead of negative emotions.

Belonging builds relationships with God and with people

Every Belonging lesson features a weekly Bible story that illustrates and applies the scriptural basis for that week’s training. But Belonging goes farther than teaching about God, Belonging trains participants to hear God more clearly and begin removing some of the blocks to seeing ourselves and others as God sees us. In Belonging this is called “Godsight training.” 

Belonging helps you stay with the training

One key part of recovery is helping people return and finish the training. Many recovery programs lose four of every five people within three months. Helping people return is an important part of Belonging and Belonging training. To help this happen, every training group of 6 to 9 people has a Belonging Coordinator assigned to help that group finish the training together.

Why is Belonging so important?

Why do people like us? How we answer that will control most of our lives. Who we think will reject us will determine where we belong and who we allow near us. Belonging or rejection has far more power than what we think or say.  

Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Taoist, Buddhist and Confucian thought all focus significant energy on the need to create a place around us where human life can thrive. Such high levels of agreement around the globe and in so many cultures point to a significant need to train, encourage and form people into communities that are helpful and accepting. People only thrive where people can also create belonging around themselves. Belonging is the joy we create around us. Christianity goes one step farther in mandating that Christians be hospitable people and extend a place to belong to their enemies. Few Christians, however, do.

Modern education has gone the other direction from all the world religions and focused on the need for more information and reason as the solution for societies and left out the training on how to create belonging and relationships. If you look at most children in preschool you will find they are warm and welcoming but by the time they are in junior high school the power of rejection has taken over. Instead of creating belonging for others, most people spend the rest of their lives fearing rejection and using rejection to protect themselves, their jobs, their families, their positions and their parking spots. This rejection-based life becomes institutionalized in churches, schools, workplaces and in our media. How do we reverse the damage that has been done? 

People who control access to communities, churches, cultures, friendship groups and families generally “screen out” people who lack the social skills to function smoothly with others. Groups and churches will not grow or change until they change the way they produce belonging. Conversely, people in recovery or who have been marginalized often wait for others to provide belonging for them. When this fails to work, as it always does, there is growing bitterness, anger, resentment and alienation between those who are “in” and those who are “out.” Belonging changes all that by restoring the ability to create the joy around us that traumas take away and addictions block. Belonging is the joy we create around us.

Get your Belonging workbook today!


Interested in bringing Connexus to your church or location? 

Please consider purchasing a Belonging License or DVD.

DVD set only  $99 (running groups without training is prohibited. If you know you want to run groups go ahead and purchase the License Kit below)
 or the
 License Kit with all training and 10 workbooks included for $299 

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