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Can I join a Restarting group any time – even if I miss the first few weeks?
Does everyone in Restarting need a workbook?
Does Restarting use a 12 Step approach to recovery?
How can I help establish a Restarting group at my church or ministry?
Why does Restarting emphasize joy so much?
Why does Restarting talk so much about Brain Science and Brain Training?
Can I join a Restarting group any time – even if I miss the first few weeks?
Restarting is an open group that is designed for new members to join at any time. Even if you miss the first few sessions, you are welcome to become part of a Restarting group. The weekly notes and chapter overviews will help you catch up on the lessons you’ve missed, and each weekly DVD lesson reviews important concepts from earlier lessons. And, to practice each joy and relationship building exercise, you are welcome to continue in your Restarting group when it begins again.
Can I practice the joy and relationship building exercises that I learn at Restarting at home with my spouse?
Yes! The joy and relationship building exercises you learn at Restarting are an excellent way to build bonds with your spouse. The Restarting workbook has detailed instructions for each exercise, and can help you and your partner practice the exercises together.
Can I come to Restarting and learn the joy and relationship building exercises even if my spouse doesn’t come with me – or is still active in their addiction?
Even if your spouse doesn’t attend – or is still active in their addiction – your life can begin to change as you build joy and learn new relationship building skills at Restarting. If your spouse or family member is active in their addiction, it is especially important for you to begin your own recovery by building joyful with others at Restarting who are glad to be with you. Weekly Restarting groups offer the opportunity to learn and practice new joy and relationship building skills in small groups of 3-5 people, and this allows you to begin building joy with others – even if your spouse is not with you.
BEEPS are a new way to describe addiction. BEEPS are attachments to Behaviors, Events, Experiences, People or Substances (BEEPS) that are used to regulate emotions, increase pleasure or decrease pain. BEEPS are important, because they mimic the neurochemical processes associated with genuine joy. When the brain learns to rely on BEEPS – and not the genuine joy that is produced by authentic relationships with God and others – the brain is hijacked by BEEPS. This means that BEEPS gradually assume increasing levels of control in our lives, and take us places that we never wanted to go.
Does everyone in Restarting need a workbook?
Yes, it is best if each Restarting member has a workbook. This will make it much easier for everyone to learn the joy and relationship building exercises and the teaching notes in the workbook will make it much easier to follow the weekly Restarting DVD lesson. Couples are welcome to share a workbook.
Does Restarting use a 12 Step approach to recovery?
Each weekly Restarting DVD lesson and each workbook chapter contain specific application of the 12 Steps to weekly Restarting material. While Restarting is not a 12 Step group, Restarting recognizes the unique value of 12 Step principles as they apply to recovery from a variety of life controlling problems and addictions. Restarting is a solution-centered recovering community that is centered in joy – and joyful relationships. Joy adds a dimension to recovery – and recovery communities – that empowers a dynamic recovery. This is the primary focus of Restarting.
The Immanuel Process is an important part of Restarting. The Immanuel Process is an exercise in which participants learn to experience the presence of Jesus at deeper levels of life. Learning to perceive the presence of Jesus – who is always with us – helps us build joy and helps us develop a stronger attachment to Jesus. In Restarting, participants will learn simple exercises that help them perceive the presence of Jesus in prayer and the scriptures. Participants will also have the opportunity to learn exercises that help them experience the presence of Jesus in areas of life that have not felt peaceful. This helps us begin to heal from attachment pain and traumas that have fueled unhealthy attachments to BEEPS.
The Immanuel Process was developed by Dr. Karl and Charlotte Lehman and applied to groups by Dr. Jim Wilder. Examples of the Immanuel process are available in numerous videos from Dr. Lehman and you can see short examples on YouTube.
How can I help establish a Restarting group at my church or ministry?
The workbook contains detailed instructions that can help guide you as you seek to begin a Restarting group. One of the best ways to become familiar with Restarting and Restarting concepts is to visit an existing Restarting group, attend a Restarting facilitator training or attend a THRIVE conference. You can also order the Restarting Preview DVD, Home License Restarting DVD, Restarting Workbook and brochures. You can find out more about how to order these materials – or find the location of a Restarting group, training or conference on this website.
Why does Restarting emphasize joy so much?
Recent advances in neuroscience emphasize the importance of joy for a brain that is healthy. Joy helps the brain develop in ways that are life giving, and is joyful relationships help the brain learn to regulate important neurotransmitters such as dopamine. Joyful relationships are also necessary to help the brain learn to handle negative emotions, and develop a secure, healthy identity. Joy gives us the strength we need to walk into a recovery that is Thriving!
Do you have any suggestions for sharing Restarting with other recovery groups, such as Overcomers or Celebrate Recovery that are meeting at my church?
Each situation is unique, but a few things to keep in mind are:
Respect the recovery work and different approaches that other groups may use. Though methodology may differ, the goals of most Christ-centered recovery groups include sobriety, helping participants overcome the devastation of life-controlling problems, and helping participants grow in their relationship with Jesus. We may have different approaches, but we all tend to agree on these basic goals.
Build relational bridges. If Thriving groups are going to co-exist with other recovery programs in your church, it is vital that you build relationship with the leaders of these groups. It is unreasonable to ask them to be supportive of you and your Thriving: Recover Your Life group if they do not know you – or have enough relationship with you to be able to ask questions or voice concerns if they should arise. You should know that Thriving is a very different approach to recovery – and it is reasonable for leaders and participants in other groups to have questions. In addition, you will discover that it is much easier to resolve questions, problems or confusion if you have already established and are maintaining healthy, open relationships with leaders of existing recovery ministries that may be already meeting in your church.
Use the Restarting preview DVD and brochure. The 15 minute “Overview of Restarting” presentation may be particularly helpful. In addition, “The Future of Recovery” is a non-threatening explanation of how and why traditional approaches to recovery – even Christ-centered approaches – need to change. Handing out Restarting brochures is also very helpful at presentations.
Describe Restarting as a solution-centered approach to recovery that harnesses the power of joy to help participants develop a recovery that is Thriving! Rather than spending a lot of time describing the problems of addiction, trauma, abuse, painful relationships and spiritual dryness, Restarting focuses on the solution to these problems. That solution – and what our brain needs the most is joy.
Help them understand the need to train the brain for recovery. Nobody would attempt to compete in a sport without practice and physical training, and the same thing is true of recovery. Restarting teaches simple inner healing and joy/relationship building exercises that train the brain for recovery, much like physical training helps prepares an athlete to for sports. Traditional recovery programs have relapse rates that run approximately 70-80%, and the vast majority of these relapses are directly related to inadequate training for the right hemisphere of the brain. Restarting is the different, because unlike many other programs, Restarting intentionally provides training for this hemisphere of the brain.
It is useful to point out that Restarting is unique because it:
- Presents a unified approach to dealing with a variety of addictions. Addictions such as alcohol, drugs, people, sex, food, work, etc., hijack the brain’s attachment center – and replace relationships with God and others as a source of life-giving joy, attachment and emotional regulation. Because Restarting addresses the root causes of these addictions – and focuses on retraining the brain for sobriety, participants do not need to break into small groups that are centered discussing a common problem. Rather, Restarting participants recover together in a community where everyone learns and practices joy/relationship and inner healing exercises that help train the brain to overcome addictions, trauma, abuse and other life-dominating problems.
- Helps address trauma. This is important, because research indicates that trauma pre-wires the brain for addiction, and for ongoing pain and failure in relationships. Restarting helps participants learn simple inner healing exercises that help heal the devastation of several types of trauma.
- Helps build a deeper walk with Jesus that is joyful. Participants will also learn joy and relationship building skills that will help them relate to others in ways that are healthy and life giving.
Finally, when you are talking to leaders of a group of people in recovery, it can be helpful to gently ask questions like this: "Have you ever felt like there must be something more in recovery than what you've experienced so far? Have you felt like you are doing what you are supposed to - but still have this nagging sense that there must be something more to life in recovery? Are you sober, working your program and growing in Jesus - but still wondering what comes next?" Be sure that you ask these without disrespecting the work of their existing recovery group – or their own progress in recovery.
Why does Restarting talk so much about Brain Science and Brain Training?
Trauma and addictions both impair the brain’s structure and function, and make it much harder for us to cooperate with the direction of God for our lives – and to live out the desires that God places in our hearts. New advances in brain science are helping us better understand how the brain develops and work, so that we can cooperate with God's healing process more fully. Trying to cooperate with the spirit of God when our brain’s structure and function is impaired is a lot like trying to wave at a friend when the muscles in your arm are damaged, torn or atrophied. You may strongly desire to wave – but if your muscles are damaged and unable to cooperate, you won’t be able to follow through! Likewise, the brain is the physical organ in our body that is needed to cooperate with the flow of God’s spirit in our lives. Following the direction of the Spirit in our lives, and living from the Heart that Jesus gave us requires a brain that is healthy enough to cooperate with His leadership. In Restarting, brain training does not replace the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Restarting teaches brain training exercises that help our brain heal, and learn important relational skills that can help us develop more joyful relationships with God and others. Prayer exercises in Restarting help us learn to experience the presence of Jesus and learn to hear His voice in the Scriptures. Both brain training and prayer exercises help us cooperate more fully with His work in our lives, and develop relationships with Him and others that are rooted in joy!
How does Restarting address the Biblical concepts of “renewing the mind” and “taking every thought captive to Christ?”
The phrase “Renewal of the Mind” is found in Romans 12:2 which reads, “Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (NIV). Likewise, II Cor 10:4-5 states, “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (NIV). Both of these scriptures contain powerful truths that are foundational for the Christian life. We are transformed as our minds are renewed, and as we learn to take every thought captive and obedient to Christ.
One of the most exciting aspects of Restarting are the innovative approaches to learning to “renew our minds” and “take our thoughts captive” that are contained in the inner healing and joy/relationship building exercises in each weekly lesson. Restarting teaches simple, foundational exercises that help build brain skills that are essential for participants to build more joyful, secure relationships with God and others. Restarting also provides participants the opportunity to learn and practice simple prayer exercises that help them learn to listen to God directly, and through the scriptures.
Restarting exercises that help train the brain for joy and relationship are included in each weekly lesson. One series of Restarting exercises teaches participants to share stories about moments in which they feel genuine appreciation for God and others. Another series of exercises teach a participant to tell stories about a moment in which they felt connections with God or others that were joyful – and helps them learn to return to joy from negative emotions by staying connected to God and others. Still other exercises help participants learn to quiet themselves and rest – even when they are upset. These simple, relational brain training exercises actually help train regions of the brain that help govern our emotions, motivations and perceptions – areas that are typically not trained through didactic learning or instruction. Experience has demonstrated that these exercises are extremely helpful in preparing hurting people – or those who are beginning/re-starting a relationship with Jesus, to begin to hear Him.
Teaching participants to learn to listen to God is another foundational aspect of “renewing the mind” and “taking thoughts captive” that is at the heart of Restarting. In the “Immanuel Process” participants discover that Jesus is truly always with them – in the joyful and in the painful moments of life. They learn that Jesus desires to have a moment-by-moment, intimate relationship with them that affects every area of life. They experience the love of God when Jesus helps bear burdens that are too heavy to bear alone – and discover the joy of His transforming presence. Participants also learn to encounter Jesus in the pages of scripture, as they dialogue with Jesus about His word, and learn to journal their impressions. This type of brain training helps transform participants at the deepest level of their being.
Through the entire Restarting module and the Thriving: Recover Your Life program, participants learn to “renew the mind” and “take thoughts captive” in the context of dynamic and interactive relationships with Jesus and others. Through their interactions, they are able to learn and practice the joy, relationship and inner healing exercises that transform them at the deepest level possible – a level that traditional methods and techniques fail to reach. In the context of joyful relationships with God and others, participants are able to build the brain and maturity skills that are radically transformational! Their lives and relationships with God and others truly are Thriving!
